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I'm not going to lie, 2014 was tough.
2013 was a year of change. We were in a new area, embarking on new adventures, we bought a beautiful little girl into the world, we watched her grow from a tiny little bundle into a wobbly, walking toddler. We found a nice house, we loved our area, I went self-employed, I had loads of work. Everything was looking dandy.
2014 was what happens when all the excitement of these new changes die down and all you are left with is the mundane, repetitive things of life. The loneliness of being away from your closest friends. The aimlessness of life when you are at home with a toddler, no time or energy to devote to personal projects, just seemingly everything and everyone sucking the life out of you until you've forgotten who you are and where you fit. We were forced out of our nice house and had the stress of moving for the fourth time in as many years. The work became more and more sparse. Then, towards the end of the year, I snapped. I sat in Starbucks, alone, and stared out the window, a solitary tear rolling down my cheek. What about me? What about my dreams? What about the things I wanted to achieve?
And then, there was nothing.
There wasn't a solution. There wasn't an answer. No change could turn everything around and make it all better. We couldn't go back in time, to our old lives with our old careers and our old friends. We are here, in our current life, with a beautiful little girl and right now, we're just trying to make the best of a season of life which seems very foreign and uncomfortable and no, I don't feel altogether happy about it.
BUT, I am well aware that we make our own happiness in this life. That even when life isn't exciting, even when we feel like our best days are behind us, even when we get up and do the same things day after day with little or no thanks, with no accolades, promotions or awards, there is still happiness to be found.
Happiness is to be found in the small, simple moments. In the glistening of the trees, in the rain pouring down the windows, in curling up under a quilt or your child learning something new. Every day contains happiness. But so often we miss it and we spiral downwards into a pit of despair when suddenly we snap and cry I hate my life! You don't. I don't. There is happiness to be had, even in the deepest, darkest situations, when we might not manage to smile.
So as we turn the page of life into a new chapter, 2015, I vow to find, seek out, stop, enjoy and record my moments of happiness and I'd like to invite you along the journey. I hope my ponderings will make you smile and inspire you to see the happiness in those days that sometimes seem aimless, sometimes seem purposeless, but that ultimately are beautiful if only we stop to see them.
Happy New Year!