Tuesday, 26 February 2013

4 weeks to go...


On Sunday we marked 36 weeks of pregnancy. 36 weeks that have gone far too quickly. This means that if I were to give birth in one week's time, I would be considered full term. It means that in approximately four short weeks my life will be irreversibly changed forever (unless bubba decides to take her time!). But this week I have become hyper aware that it means one thing and one thing only. It means that in approximately four short weeks, I won't be pregnant anymore. And you know what? I'm not quite ready.

I like being pregnant.

I'm used to being pregnant.

As someone who has been on a bit of journey in the run-up to this pregnancy, it feels quite bizarre that it is drawing to a close and that there will actually be a (much loved and wanted) result at the end of it. For three years I have been caught between preparing to get pregnant, trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant, being pregnant and recovering from losing pregnancies and starting all over again. My life has revolved around pregnancy.

What my life hasn't revolved around is a baby.

So this transition from being pregnant to being a mum is quite a strange one. Not a bad one of course, but a strange one. In four weeks time, I won't be thinking about pregnancy anymore. I'll be thinking about a baby. A little life that is wholly dependent upon me. We won't be two anymore. We'll be three. A family. I'll be a mum, and he'll be a dad - we'll have new names, Mummy and Daddy! We'll get to celebrate things like Father's Day (unless baby is really keen, we will have just missed the boat on Mother's Day this year!). There'll be a million things that we can't do anymore. There will be things we'll have to sacrifice and things that we'll take up that we never thought we would.

But this week, I'm just enjoying being pregnant. Because this might not happen again for a long time. I've been blessed to have experienced a very straightforward and easy pregnancy. I regret not treasuring it from the very beginning, overshadowed by worry and stress. I regret not savouring and recording every moment thus far. So this week, and for the next four weeks, I'll be savouring and treasuring and recording every little kick, every hope and dream and every centimetre of growth. Because I might not get to experience it again for a while. Because she is treasured and longed for and hoped for. She is, after all, the reason for all of this.

2 comments:

  1. Emily, what a beautiful post. Enjoy these weeks of pregnancy, waiting for your little one to arrive. :) You are going to be an awesome Mum! I am so happy for you. Wish we were closer and could visit.
    much love
    xxxx

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Pam! Yes, America seems very far away right now! I am now concentrating on putting my feet up :)
      xxx

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