Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Size Matters

New research has shown that we are 'heightest' when it comes to choosing our mate in life. Men like women who are shorter than them, and women like a man who is taller. It's true. I read it in the newspaper.

What I find more puzzling, however, is that a) this is news and b) somebody spent money researching this! I could have told them this! I could just look at my own experience and that of my friends, write a report and a top university research facility would have PAID me to do that?! I must secretly be a genius!

So, smart ass, I hear you cry, how exactly could you have drawn this conclusion without conducting years of academic research?

Well, my husband is a dizzy 6ft 2in. Myself? I am, what I like to call, a diminutive 4ft 11in. Yep, I never did quite stretch to that nice round number of 5. Shame.

I remember when I was 16 and an older, wiser lady asked me what I would look for in a husband. My immediate response? 'Well, of course he has to be over 6ft.' 'Really?', she asked. 'Of course, it's simple genetics. Then our kids stand a chance of being average.'

And I stand by that. My choice of husband has given baby girl here a fighting chance in life. She will never be left out of theme park rides. Never will she be asked at the age of 16 for ID to enter a rated 12 movie. She will never suffer the embarrassment of being confined to dish-washing because 'you're too short to waitress', or look at her wedding photos knowing that she's the one in 3 inch heels standing on a step... and I could tell many more stories but I might save those for a hilarious novel of sorts - Surviving Shortism in an Increasingly Tall World.

So yes, genetics.  Evidently my 5ft 2in mother did not foresee the consequences of marrying my 5ft 5in dad, but hey ho, a 4ft 11in daughter was the result. (My 5ft 3in MIL, on the other hand, chose wisely and married my 6ft 2in FIL, resulting in 3 strapping 6ft+ offspring... plus Steve, the eldest, who stopped growing at 5ft 10in - shameless underachiever that he is).

On my wedding day a 6ft tall female friend, who had not yet met my husband, scolded me for taking 'yet another' tall man off the market. Apparently ridiculously short women have a habit of doing this.

Of course when it comes to tall women, they don't opt for short men to balance out the genetics (unless, the report states, a big, fat wallet is involved). They want even taller men! They say it's so they can wear heels when out on a date but really I think genetics must play a part. After all, how else would human-kind keep churning out tall people to satisfy the demand created by short people?

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